Wild Card Meal- 11/3/09

Since I am literally reeling from Griff's free ride he gave me on the Bullet Train to Burnsville, I have to give you my synopsis of my recent foray to the Border. I have a standard meal, which has been described ad nauseum on our little bloggy blog here, so Ill spare you. Here it goes my first wild card meal, which as stipulated by the rules that Griff and I established; should consist of menu items you have never ordered or have ordered rarely-

1- Crunchwrap Supreme- First off, there is too much going on with this thing, it the Wild Cat Offense of Taco Bell menu items- things are just not doing what they should be but some how make it come together. The crunchy shell providing the structure on my example was stale. The lettuce, too much of it and it just falls out. The cheese- not enough. The sour cream- it was bunched all at one side, and was not a good fit. Wrap all of that in a Tortilla, toasted the same way they toast the GSB, is a nice touch, but really does nothing here. I immediatley disrespected this menu item, not a fan, Ill never order it again.

2- The Enchirito- I had this item a really long time ago, and I honestly forgot what it was, so as I sat in the drive through, repeatedly telling he dude to "Uh, hold on.", I overlooked it. It comes to you in a plastic box...clear top, black bottom. It looks like an Enchilada, it essentially is an Enchilada, just fucking call it an Enchilada, why call it an Enchirito? Okay, I got really pissed with this item, as I didnt really know how to eat it as the aforementioned dude at the drive through forgot to give me the ubiquitous "Spork", made famous by the Bell, and beloved by people all over the world. This menu item once I had to break out the knife and fork(!!!!!!!!!!), was pretty damn good, I would order it again; but please Taco Bell dont make me feel all proper by having to use a knife and fork.

3- The Meximelt- Ive never had this item before, I hear that it is one of the longest tenured items on the Taco Bell menu, for good measure- ITS DELICIOUS. It's the perfect blend of cheesy goodness, mixed with the right ammount of beef and tomatoes- only thing missing is the Pepper Jack sauce, Griff will agree with me, it makes everything awesome. I will be ordering the Meximelt again.

Overall this experience was "Okay", it would have been better if I had gotten the Fire Sauce I requested, but Ill save that for the next time I post- Lee Highway Taco Bell, you have been put on notice. A fat guy in a red car has your number.

Beware of the "1/2 pound burrito"

So let me start by saying the only 1/2 pounder I have had thus far is the nacho crunch burrito, and it is delicious. It is the closest thing to the GSB with chips in it I have found. It could definitely use more crunch but it is still a great contrast. With that being said, I would just like to warn you all to not get your hopes up by the name "1/2 pounder." The description of the burrito is perhaps the most misleading thing of them all

A warm flour tortilla loaded with a double portion** of seasoned ground beef and filled with warm nacho cheese sauce, juicy tomatoes, reduced fat sour cream and crunchy red strips.

* Based on average weight.
Individual product weights necessarily vary.

**Double Beef compared to Burrito Supreme

First of all, the fact it says based on average weight tells me that they probably made 100 12lb burritos to start, gave them to their CEOs and now sell bite size version because it is all based off of an average.

Secondly, the ** is a bunch of bullshit, I've seen/eaten/experienced a burrito supreme and they are way bigger than these 1/2 pounders.

And lastly, look at this picture.

This is a supposed 1/2 pound burrito next to a GSB. Now, I did not weigh the burrito but there is no way that little thing is 1/2 a pound (that's what she said...thank you Michael Scott.)

So I do not want to discourage you from buying one of these tasty treats but I just want you to beware that when you order a 1/2 pounder, its best to divide by 2 because that is more realistic of what you are getting. Just like Ryan's stories, no matter what he says, divide by 2 and that is how much of the story is probably true...ooo burnesville...population RYAN!!!